Being a Good Support in Depression

Broken people, making broken promises, result in broken relationships.  

Who are the broken people? You, me, and the rest of mankind itself. This week I’d like to highlight the brokenness so commonly found in depression.

If you or a friend is experiencing depression, here are a few tips on being a good friend and support. 

 

1. No one story of brokenness is the same. Brokenness manifests itself in countless fashions. Each human is unique from the rest; and so it is with brokenness. If you are a human (or even if you aren't), you have a story and a background that has shaped you into who you are today that is unique to anyone else in the world. Do not assume that you know exactly how they are feeling. Though your experiences may be similar to theirs, validate their feelings. They may be experiencing the same condition but remember they are experiencing it in a very different context.   

2. Be a presence. Not just a presence, a supportive presence. Don't feel like you have to name the elephant in the room by always bringing up their depression. What they need most is a friend and a safe place so that when they are ready to talk about their experience and pain they feel comfortable to do so.  

3. Don't take things personally. Most likely, if your friend is experiencing any range of depression, you will probably feel ignored and could eventually become bitter towards them. Having an internal battle everyday is hard enough with depression, they don't need friends who ignore them. A quick handwritten note expressing your love and support for them could do wonders for those experiencing depression. A lot of the times, it is hard to be around others when your struggling with depression but knowing that others are thinking of you and are there for you speaks loudly to them. 

4. If you are the one depressed, don't ignore your friends. This can be very damaging to relationships. It is important to recognize that depression affects not only yourself but others as well. Do not be shy in being raw with your close friends. If you are not ready to share your life with them yet, a simple word of appreciation will uplift your friends. Never hide your depression from your friends. True friends can tell when you are struggling and it is hurtful when they know something is being purposefully hidden from them.

Limitless

I've started interning for Saddleback Church this summer and though I have lived 15 minutes away from, what is now, my work-place my whole life, I have been immersed into an entirely different pool of people and experiences. As perhaps you have experienced, walking into any new environment can give warrant to some hesitation, timidity, and maybe even fear. For me it was not so much the environment warranting fear and timidity, it was my own self; maybe you have experienced something similar to this. I am remarkably BLESSED to have entered into a warm and joy filled community. 

It is amazing what a change in perspective of yourself and a community of people supporting you could do in order to build up a healthy dose of self-confidence. I have had to learn how to step outside of myself and those lingering thoughts of doubt and timidity and step into a bold confidence in Christ. There is a world of differences between being self confident in your ability and being confident in Christ's ability to do the unimaginable. It is not what we can do but what HE can do in us and through us.

In the words of Christine Caine,

"Jesus came here not to tame us but to make us dangerous to the kingdom of darkness. Don't allow life to keep you in a safe box and to conform. Instead, allow God's active Word to give you the parameters of your life." 

In actuality, if we try to limit God, 

•••   we are truly only limiting ourselves   •••

for God is LIMITLESS.

Radical Lover

Have you ever felt so much love for someone(s), that if it had to come down to it, you would dodge a bullet for or willingly give your life in exchange for the ones you love?

I vividly remember driving in the car with my family one Sunday afternoon. I must have been around nine or ten at the time. We were sitting at a stop light and I was overwhelmed with love for my little sister. I even remember secretly wiping tears from my eyes, I loved her THAT much. (I was a big bad ten year old, I couldn’t be seen weeping!!!!)

My young mind started imagining scenarios and it was right then and there that I knew with my whole being that I would give my life for any of my family members if need be, but especially my little sister. She was young, she still had more life to see and experience, and I had five (FIVE) whole years ahead on her. I’ve already experienced the wonderful feeling of riding my bike with no training wheels…she HAD to experience that. So it was there, at that stop light on that Sunday afternoon that solidified my unconditional, sacrificial love for my family. 

I knew I would do anything for them.

Fast forward about 10.5 years and that same girl is divinely love-struck by the Ultimate Lover, Jesus Christ. He loved so incredibly HARD that he gave up His life because that was the only way to save this dying world. His love was RADICAL, more radical than young Alexis’s love for her family. He didn’t merely die solely for His family, His twelve disciples, or those good people down the road; He died for ALL because He loved ALL. He didn’t die for solely that generation of people but He died for every generation to come, He died for our generation and the generations to come after us. It’s almost impossible to imagine such a divine love but its REAL, friends. His love is more real than anything you can or will ever experience.

••• As Easter approaches •••

May we remember Jesus Christ: Redeemer and Radical Lover.

Will you create the space to fixate not just your heart, but also your mind and your soul on the one who sacrificially laid down His life for you? 

May we actively reflect on the Savior of the world and what the Lord willed all along – to set humans free in order that they may have eternal life which is  “that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3).

“O you redeemed ones, on whose behalf this strong resolve was made – you who have been bought by the precious blood of this steadfast, resolute Redeemer – come and think awhile of Him, that your hearts may burn within you and that your face may be set like flints to live and die for Him who lived and died for you!”

C.H. Spurgeon

A BIRTHDAY

For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just 

- Genesis 18:19 -

Guillermo Alvarez.

Husband to one

Father of three

Friend to all.

He is the greatest example of a man: he walks humbly before God.

He is gifted with a unique knack for discovering

and then developing things most people would often write off.

He is perceptive and wise in the way he leads his family

through both the practical and the spiritual.

My dad is one that is a direct reflection of what Christ’s love looks like towards me.

His wise direction, comforting words, and the security of a loving father

has been a powerful symbol of Christ’s mighty care for me and for His children.

I am grateful to God for the blessing of being placed under the care of this amazing father.

"Guillermo: Track Star"

 

- FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS -

obedience.

Walking with God

in pursuit of daily obedience 

is the sure means of fulfilling each of His wonderful plans.

 - Beth Moore -

 

That is my prayer for myself and for us as a Body of Christ.

May we practice daily obedience and not get into a the rhythm of delayed obedience. 

Walking with God not on our own // how intimate a relationship God desires for us!

To quote Joni Eareckson Tada, we must practice "long obedience in the same direction."

Long obedience is faithful obedience, it's diligent obedience, it's surrendering obedience, and it's all done because of your love and desire to follow hard (!!!!!!) after Him, though the path of obedience may be trying. 

We, as a Body, must maintain a posture of humility before God as we glory at His many wonders and as God dignifies us as we walk in His ways. 

- Happy Wednesday -

love flood

 

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion...

Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;

But how can one be warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

ECCLESIASTES  4 : 9 -1 2 

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THIS.

I love it.

Today, I am grateful for those I LOVE. This verse perfectly embodies why.

Friends, family, Christ – I love them all and without them you and I would probably be very scary beings. We were made to be in community with others – we were designed for relationship.

Contrary to many humans, I actually LOVE valentines day – maybe because I have always been captivated by the idea of love but as I have matured in my walk with Christ and have learned how to receive love from family and friends, love has taken on a new form. This Love I am coming to know is D E E P; not merely scraping the surface of the desires of my soul but instead, filling me with wonder and awe. I don’t even want to attempt to describe it in fear of it being insufficient to the reality of what it is. Love is the greatest mystery to me – I love that it is a mystery because  

when love happens our souls react and that is all the evidence we need – your spirit knows when you are loved and words cannot begin to match the beauty of it.

So, dwell on this verse and then dwell on those people you love and are loved by – and rejoice.  

To be loved is good. 

To give love is good. 

This is why I say speak up & proclaim this love to one another,
but also remember to open your heart to readily receive the "love flood" flowing from friends, family, lovers, and most of all Christ.

Now go have yourself a Grand ole Valentines Day {!!!!!!} 

So, this one time....

So, this one time in Barnes & Noble, with their many escalators and people sprawled out on the floor reading their favorite books quietly and in peace, I just really needed {“!!!!!”} to get to Starbucks on the third floor so you could say my mind was in the clouds (we’ll go with that). 

I was on a mission – GET TO THE THIRD FLOOR.

I stepped onto the first escalator I saw with a smile on my face because soon I would be united with coffee; however, something odd was happening.

I was battling to get to the top of this escalator.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I have been trained to know that escalators were created to get me from bottom to top or vice versa with grace and ease.

I know how to ride an escalator, pshhht.

I was trying to process what was happening and at this point I’m RUNNING (yes, running) up the escalator, confused out of my mind! I look behind me and I see my little sister just laughing her head off, I even asked her, “Julia, what are you doing, aren’t you coming? Hurry.” And THAT’s when I realized that it was I who was the fool.

I WAS RUNNING UP THE DOWN ESCALATOR. (God bless my soul)

You see, I am a diehard fan of the Stairmaster at the gym and so going up "down” moving stairs seemed somewhat natural but the context could NOT have been more different. At this point, I had to humbly stop fighting that blasted machine and instead ride the escalator down the direction it was intended for, like a civilized woman. Julia and I were laughing for HOURS; I completely humiliated myself, but took joy in my coffee and the fact that people now had a funny story to tell their friends about this chick who________ (fill in the blank)_____.

It wasn’t until weeks later when I giggly remembered this happening of mine, that God revealed something so marvelous to me.

In essence this is what I heard,

“Stop fighting the direction in which I have intended for you.”

Am I alone in this? Am I the only one who (sometimes) unknowingly wrestles with the will of God? Am I the only one who gets so caught up in the destination (in this case, coffee --- s h o c k e r) that I try to get there too hastily?

Don’t loose you’re head.

 Keep close to our Lord, daily; not just weekly, not just annually, but daily.

BUT, DO find peace in knowing that if you lose your way, our Lord will be there waiting, watching, loving, and welcoming you into His warm embrace, ready to laugh with you in the days to come.

Leave it up to the Almighty to use my embarrassment as yet another insightful experience for me. 

#PraiseHim

relinquish & release.

WHY ARE YOU PLANNING 

AS IF YOU ALREADY KNOW?

 

Have you ever experienced those cherished, humbling and intimate moments with God? 

You see, God radically exposed me in the most gentle and loveliest of ways today. 

Actually, he caught me in the act and nearly knocked the wind right out of my soul - hehe. 

The knee-slapper was that I was doing this with a BIG fat smile on my face. 

(I know you're probably biting your nails to the nubs at this point) 

Okay, don't laugh. 

I was P L A N N I N G. 

I pulled out my cute little 2014 planner and was excitingly jotting things down like there was no tomorrow, folks. 

I was planning things that were hopeful dreams that WERE (!!!!!) going to take place if I had anything to do with it. 

So there I was, proclaiming and demanding things with my little black pen that I had no control of in the first place.

At first glance one could argue that this was a total act of innocence and for some (not me) I would agree.

But let me assure you, I was G U I L T Y and caught red handed. 

This was my intent: I was going to let God know (and make sure He couldn't forget) the details of my life that are so so so important and dear to my heart. 

In essence, I was just letting God know what needed to be done is all....

OY VEY (palm to face). 

Moral of the story is NOT to stop planning; it is a change of heart. 

Here was my problem, in this act I was taking things into my own hands and gripping those things ever so tightly in my heart. I desired to control the circumstances and the outcomes of my plans. 

mine mine mine.

As I was in the act, I heard this gentle whisper speaking directly into the depths of my soul:

  Why are you planning as if you already know? 

I had an "oh my gosh" moment leaving me divinely awestruck. It was at that moment where I dropped my pen (and my tight grip on MY plans) like a heaping plate of hot tamales. 

I fell in absolute LOVE with God ---- The Almighty spoke and convicted me with perfect grace and love for His daughter.  

These plans I was making were not bad; they weren't. 

Who knows, those plans I so desire to take place may actually occur but

God was simply reminding me of something of larger importance. I need to loosen my grip and let Him do what He does best.  He reminded me to put not my trust and hope in the plans itself, but in The Planner, HIMself. 

#snaps for a loving Father, am I right? 

Posture yourself to offer God the reign over your everyday:

"Father, I relinquish & release my everything into your tender and loving care"

 

RELINQUISH & RELEASE.

The Best is Yet to Come

I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God 

R O M A N S   1 2 : 1

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There have been two things consuming my thoughts for a few months now – each have drawn my attention by multiple people coming from all different places.  

The first was posed as a question: What if I lived every day and approached every instance as Christ-centered? Heard this before? I know personally I’ve grown up with this challenge ringing in my ears. But have you and I truly made an effort to live this out? I’m challenging myself to not view this question as a concept or an idea that is “just a little bit out of my reach”. I believe with my WHOLE heart and soul that this is and can be a reality. By no means will my efforts be perfect but it is the effort of living this out that makes it worthwhile. What this means to me, and it may be different for you, is to make an intentional choice to be aware of and have reverence for His presence throughout my day. I desire to make Him my priority; for Christ is more than worthy of all my time. It is making a choice to throw off all that hinders in order that I may love others more fully and please Him in all that I do. I often imagine what it would feel like to say to God, “Father, I have given you every ounce of my everything to you and for you – Your will be done.” Imagine the love and the fulfillment of that statement. I hope that gives you chills. But by golly, that statement does not come with plush comfort or little sacrifice – it’s an uphill battle that requires me and you to fight against those things that so easily and quickly entangle us; we must push through and move forward, grasping onto the Truth of Christ and relying on the love our Father bestows on us.

The second is a message that gives me so much hope and it came after I had been dwelling on the previous message through a swanky tune by my man, Frank Sinatra (Man did God know what would capture my attention or what haha). It was during a time I was doing my best to navigate life’s many twists and turns and loop-dee-loops with the approach and mindset of the first message yet I would become discouraged every now and then.

The song? 

The Best is Yet to Come (S W O O N)

The chorus of this tune joyfully rung in my ears and soul for quite some time now and still does today.

“The Best is yet to come and babe wont that be fine.

You think you’ve seen the sun, but you ain’t seen it shine

 (come that day that you’re mine)”

The BEST is yet to come. His Best is coming soon and what a lovely message of hope as we desire and give it our all to live out a Christ-centered life. I am more than aware that living a Christ-Centered life is not the easiest road to travel on; Christ makes that clear to His followers. It is sure to seem like a desert at times and can make the action of throwing in the towel seem very desire-some. But He is not short in His rich, glorious and worthwhile promises.

Choose Christ and act faithfully for His best is yet to come.